I'm so sorry to hear you are having troubles with your mother. Do you know what the Bible says, even if our mother forget us, God will never forget us? He has our names written on the palm of his hand. (That last part means He thinks of us often.)
God is going to see you through this dear one. Please, please do not do anything to hurt yourself. Did you know that the Bible says that a live dog is better than a dead lion, for where there is life there is hope??
That means there is no hope in death. But there is hope in life, even if you're feeling like a starving dog that everyone has kicked around.
You are going to make it. God says He is close to those with a broken heart. Sometimes it may not feel that way but He's there. Do not listen to the enemy's lies, He is trying to discourage you because he knows the plans God has for your life.
Waitl. Wait on God. In the meantime, if thoughts of suicide get too heavy, go to the hospital or call 911. Call your doctor as well.
You are going to make it. I'm praying for you.
Here are a few things I think God wants you to know:
I myself have had terrible circumstances in my life. When my baby was thrown out of a car during a violent car crash, she spent a year in coma. The doctors tried to get me to pull her plug and end her life. I was finally so distraught that I almost pulled her plug and my plug as well.
Finally, even though I didn't want to, I gave my daughter up to God. I came Him the circumstance she was in -- blind, on life support, unable to speak. When I did, He did not heal her, instead, he gradually began to heal my heart. It took a lot of time. Now, 15 years later, my daughter is still terribly disabled, but both our hearts are healed. My daughter is joyful and free of the heartaches of life. And so am I.
That can happen for you too. Someday you will smile.
Please, do not take your life. Please allow time and God to heal your heart. I know that you are hurting. But others have been where you are, and have walked, one step at a time, out of the darkness.
You will too. You are going to make it.
To read my story, click here.
Here's what I recommend to you:
Don't do anything to harm yourself. You are so loved. Please give your situation time, please allow God time to move. He may be waiting for you to give in to Him, to say, God I will trust you, no matter what. Try trusting God and see what will happen.
Also, please go in for a medical checkup and tell your doctor about how you feel emotionally. Your doctor may have medications that can help you get over this 'bump' in the road.
Also, I highly recommend counseling. You may find a pastor in your church or other local church or some other professional who will understand and help you with your struggles.
WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU!