I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. Sometimes when a person deals with these kinds of problems it's because they feel they have no control in their lives. And the funny thing is, no one has control of their lives. I don't, bossy people don't, no one.
What I've had to do is give up what control I wish I had, to God. That's something you can actually control, a decision you can make on your own.
If you want to try it, you can pray:
Lord, I give up control of my life to you. I give you my anger at others and at myself. I give up my need to punish others and myself. I give it all to you. Lord, give me grace and mercy. Pour grace and mercy so mightily in my life that my spirit is healed. I give my life to you, in your son, Jesus', name. I bind the enemy from my life in Jesus' name. Take me out of this dark place. Guide me, one step at a time.
If you can get a copy of the book Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson, I think it would really help you.
I'm praying for you and I care!
P.S. Here's a link to my family's story:http//www.righttotheheart.com/spiritual_survey/laurapage.htm
P.S.S. If you are at risk to harm yourself, please go to the hospital, call 911, or call
More Thoughts: Do you go to church anywhere? If not, find a church. Talk to the pastor and tell him how you are feeling. But most of all, keep doing the next thing. I'm not promising that you will not have losses, but keep praying, seeking God, and His direction. Keep your head high in this storm and one day, it will pass. The sun will shine again. And this dark period of your life will be behind you. There is hope Jeremiah 29: 11 - 13 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,...plans to give you hope and a future.... You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
You are going to make it. I'm praying for you. God is going to see you through this dear one. Please, please do not do anything to hurt yourself. Wait on God. In the meantime, if thoughts of suicide get too heavy, go to the hospital or call 911. Call your doctor as well.
To read my story, click here.
Don't do anything to harm yourself. You are so loved. Please give your situation time, please allow God time to move. He may be waiting for you to give in to Him, to say, God I will trust you, no matter what. Try trusting God and see what will happen.
Also, please go in for a medical checkup and tell your doctor about how you feel emotionally. Your doctor may have medications that can help you get over this 'bump' in the road.
Also, I highly recommend counseling. You may find a pastor in your church or other local church or some other professional who will understand and help you with your struggles.
WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU!