Rather be Dead

Dear Friend,

Many people face depression or thoughts of suicide.

DID YOU KNOW? At one point in his life, the great prophet Elijah wished he was dead. He even prayed that God would take his life. He was frightened, exhausted, and fed up with living. (1 Kings 19) But God was not finished with Elijah's life. His greatest achievements and blessings lay just ahead. God is not finished with your life either. He says this to you:

"I know the plans I have for you. I have plans to prosper you and not to harm you. I have plans to give you hope and future.
"If you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me. I will listen to you. Search for Me. You will find Me when you seek Me with all of your heart."(Jeremiah 29:11, 12, 13 - paraphrase)

I too was once discouraged to the point of suicide. What I finally learned was this, I (we) have an enemy. He knows the ones God has called for special purposes. Those are the ones the enemy discourages and tempts with thoughts of ending their life. I find that those who are most discouraged are those with the greatest purpose." Linda goes on to say, "Don't let the enemy rob you of your life, you can trust God. He will lead you through this tough time. Your future is filled with hope. Give God a chance and see! Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you.

I'm so glad I waited on God. Yes, I've had tough times, but He has turned them into good.

Have you ever stopped to think that even Jesus felt loss?

When His friend Lazarus died, He wept, even though He was about to call Lazarus out of the tomb. (John 11) He feels your loss, too, and grieves with you.

Jesus' incredible sadness was never more apparent than when He knelt in the Garden and begged His Father to change the future - but only if God was willing. In this lonely hour, He knew His friend Judas was plotting with His enemies against Him, His closest friends were sleeping, and the Romans and the religious leaders were coming to arrest Him and torture Him to death.

Yet, He had the courage to do what God was asking Him to do: Give His life. (Matthew 26) You can hear His desperation in His cry from the cross: "My God! My God! Why have You forsaken Me?"

Jesus had courage to face his tough times and He will give you the courage to face yours as well.

He speaks the same words to you that He spoke to His grief-stricken disciples: "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. But not a peace like the world gives. Don't let your hearts be troubled. Don't be afraid. The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, will teach you all things."
(John 14: 27, 25)

Remember: He won't teach you peace like the world teaches peace by the absence of all trouble and conflict. But the Counselor WILL teach you how to have peace the way Jesus had peace by giving you courage, strength, plans, and hope in the middle of the storm.

Are you ready to say Yes to Jesus? YES!

In the meantime, as you learn peace from the Counselor, here are some things you need to do:

Do what Elijah did when he was fighting depression: He ate a healthy meal and took a nap. The angels brought Elijah his meal, but you'll probably have to come up with something healthy on your own. Lean heavily to fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, and whole grain breads. Stay off the booze completely. Cut back on the caffeine and get plenty of sleep. Everything is bleak when you're jittery and tired. It's harder to cope.

  1. Find Godly counsel - not a psychic or your horoscope, but good books on the subjects with which you are dealing. It may be hard to believe right now, but your situation probably is not totally unique. There are answers for you.
  2. Find a pastor or a friend who will listen more than they talk and who will pray with you. Jesus' friends slept through His darkest hour and scattered when He was crucified. Hopefully, you can find some better friends than He had.
  3. See a doctor. While you may have legitimate problems, there are physical conditions that cause depression and feelings of hopelessness. When Jesus healed people, He sent them to the doctors for a checkup. (The village priests were the doctors in Jesus' day.) The doctor may not be able to cure a terrible situation, but you can better survive it if you are healthy.
  4. Get some fresh air and moderate exercise while you pray. Frequently in the Scriptures you will read that Jesus went mountain climbing and praying. Since He was a carpenter - have you ever seen a carpenter who wasn't buff? - and He walked everywhere He went, He was probably in better shape than most of us, so let's leave the mountain climbing to Jesus. But a prayerful power walk is a good thing.
  5. Memorize Scripture that will give you hope. The Word is alive. It's powerful, astute, and so very wise. It divides between the soul and spirit. The Word will change you and you will be a conqueror in Jesus' Name. Get the Word inside you and lots of it. Start with these verses: Isaiah 26:3; Psalm 55:22; Isaiah 12:2; Matthew 8:26; Philippians 4:6, 7; Isaiah 30:15, 32: 17; John 14:27; Revelation 1:4.

Let us hear from you. We don't have all the answers, but we know the One who does. We'll pray for you and send you encouragement.e-mail us.

Share the God Test: www.godtest.com

Additional Reading

On the Stormy Waters
(Based on Matthew 14:22-34)
by Rebekah Montgomery

Even experienced fishermen shuddered when the wind howled out of the mountains and onto the sea. Then the waves became choppy and unpredictable; men who worked these waters all their lives knew to haul their sails and make for harbor. But sometimes-and this night was one of them-the high seas and gusts would not permit the sailors to gain the shore. The small boat circled the middle of the sea, an eerie spot, wild, unsettled, dangerous-and according to some reports-haunted. In watery graves below lay hundreds, if not thousands, of the sailors' fellow fishermen waiting for them to join them, their boats reduced to waterlogged splinters, their bones picked clean by the same denizens of the deep they had come to harvest. By three o'clock in the morning, as a false dawn dimly lit the sky, the men had been pulling on the oars for hours against the wind. No nearer shore, shelter, or sanctuary, exhaustion was setting in. And then one man caught a glimpse of something unsettling on the seas. For a few moments, a trough obscured his vision, and while he waited for the lift of the next wave, he pondered whether he was seeing things. When the wave lofted them upward, he looked steadily over his shoulder. There it was again!

He gave a shriek of terror and pointed as a curl of water again swallowed the boat. "What?" someone shouted about the wind's howl. His question was answered as the boat crested the wave; every man in the boat saw the phantom, a dead man risen from the deep, walking on the water toward the boat. "A ghost!"

It was true, then! The sea was indeed haunted-and unless God spared them by some miraculous means, they were all going to die. Gripped by terror, they rowed frantically, their strokes uncoordinated, panic-stricken, and fruitless. Each wave revealed a truth more horrible than the last: The ghost was gaining on them.

Then a Voice rang out over the storm: "Take courage, men! It's Me! Don't be afraid!"

The men paused mid-stroke and stared at one another, eyes wide with fear and hope. The voice sounded like Jesus, but how could it be Him?

This creature was walking on the water! It could not be a flesh-and-blood man. "It's a trick!" someone hissed. "The ghost mimics the voice of the Master!"

A man of action, Peter could not sit in the boat and wait to see if it was a demon approaching or their Savior. He would go to the Master-or drown in the effort. "If it is You, Lord," he shouted, "tell me to come to You on the water."

"Come!" rang out the Voice above the roar of wind and wave. Peter threw his leg over the stern.

"No!" shouted his brother Andrew. "Don't go! You'll drown!"

Peter shook off his brother and stepped out. Although he had developed sea legs as a toddler, he still needed to adjust to the rise and fall of the stormy waves. Nevertheless, Peter was filled with a wild exhilaration.

Sometimes he could clearly see Jesus walking toward him, sometimes not. True dawn was not far off now, but the wind off the mountains grew stronger.

The waves dashed higher, wilder, more unpredictable; engulfed among them, Peter totally lost sight of the Master. "Jesus?" he called. He scanned the undulating swells, but for all he could tell, he was alone. He looked behind him for the boat, but it too had disappeared. What am I doing out here? he asked himself, suddenly doubting his sanity. This must be a madman's nightmare! There was no Jesus on the sea. I am alone and a fo

Immediately, he began to sink, water washing over his head, filling his lungs. He coughed violently, but he had only enough breath for a whisper.

"Lord! Save me!" he cried out hoarsely, flailing wildly, foaming whitecaps rolling over his head.

The wave dropped, and instantly Jesus was there. His warm hand caught Peter's shivering arm and pulled him out of the pounding surf. "Why did you doubt?" Jesus asked him.

At that moment, his hand held tight and warm in Jesus' hand, Peter didn't know why either. Now, with Jesus' strong arm around him, the heaving waves were nothing but a nuisance. They stepped over each wave until the boat came into view. The men were still wildly and fruitlessly wielding the oars, so Jesus and Peter was able to come within a dozen yards before they were spotted. Then the men watched their approach, stunned and disbelieving, right up to the moment when Peter and Jesus stepped over the rocking gunwale. Immediately, suddenly, even before they were seated, the wind died. The once restless sea lay smooth and shining as the first blush of the sun's rays tinted the sky.

When you are battling a storm…

look for Jesus in it.

He's there somewhere, and if you can tear your eyes off the waves, you'll spot Him coming to your aid.


worship Him as Master of the Sea.

If all you look at is the storm, it becomes your focus, the thing of utmost importance to your mind. But if you worship Him as God, you will find that God does indeed dwell in the praises of His people.

…do what Jesus says even if He commands you to get out of your safety zone, leave your security, and walk on the water. If He says you can do it, do it.

. . .keep Jesus in your vision.

No matter how big the problems are that are approaching you, no matter how threatening they appear, keep Him in your sight. If a problem temporarily eclipses Him from view, don't assume that He's abandoned you. He's still there - even when you can't see Him.

. . .if you get into waters over your head, call for Jesus' help.

He'll be there.

. . .walk with His hand in yours.

Cling to Him. He's promised to never leave or forsake you. He understands storms and how to deal with them.

. . .when He is walking with you, impossible feats are suddenly possible;

but don't forget that it isn't you, your righteousness, your faith, or anything else about you that makes them possible-it's only the saving grace of Jesus.

. . .expect that He'll bring peace. Jesus is the Prince of Peace. When you invite Him to reign in your life, He automatically brings peace.

Copyright by Rebekah Montgomery 2000


Please, do not take your life. Please allow time and God to heal your heart. I know that you are hurting. But others have been where you are, including me, and have walked, one step at a time, out of the darkness.

You will too. You are going to make it.

To read my story, click here.

Here's what I recommend to you:

  1. Ten.Days.of.Encouragement.SIGN.UP!
  2. We need other believers for encouragement. Find a church home. See if you can find a small Bible study of people in your age range. Call some of the bigger churches in your area and see if they have anything to offer for your age group. This could be a home Bible study or a Sunday school class.
  3. Listen to inspirational music. There's a lot of Christian music in different styles. Maybe you've got a great Christian radio station in your area or maybe you can find one on the web that plays a style of Christian music that speaks to you like http://www.klove.com/listen/. You can also go to a Christian bookstore and listen to their CDs until you find something that helps you to feel worshipful.
  4. Read the book, Purpose Driven Life. This is a great Bible study and you need to have the Word in your life every day.
  5. Take time to read the Bible. If you don't have a Bible, there are versions available on the web that you can download.

Don't do anything to harm yourself. You are so loved. Please give your situation time, please allow God time to move. He may be waiting for you to give in to Him, to say, God I will trust you, no matter what. Try trusting God and see what will happen.

Also, please go in for a medical checkup and tell your doctor about how you feel emotionally. Your doctor may have medications that can help you get over this 'bump' in the road.

Also, I highly recommend counseling. You may find a pastor in your church or other local church or some other professional who will understand and help you with your struggles.





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Betrayed Someone

Boy Trouble

Betrayed By My Boyfriend

Children Better Off Without Me


Depressed - How to Tell parents?


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Discouraged Pastor

Discouraged Woman

Do What I Shouldn't

Friend Troubles

God Can't Stop Anyone

Girl Trouble

God Ignores Me

God's Forgotten Me?

God's Presence is Gone

Hell for Suicide Victims?

In love with my Ex.

Life Stinks!

Mother Troubles

Need Prayer

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Suicide Attempt

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